Difficult Conversation with Employee

How to Handle Difficult Conversations with Employees?

At almost every company I’ve worked for, managers frequently reached out to HR with a common plea: “Help me handle this difficult conversation with an employee.” Expectation for HR was either do it with them or to teach them, how to do it. These challenging discussions can arise for a variety of reasons, like: An employee is struggling with personal issues that impact their work performance, or they are unmotivated and need to be persuaded to improve. Sometimes, despite repeated feedback, an employee’s performance remains low, or their behavior negatively affects the team by complaining about the boss or company, or being rude to colleagues. All these scenarios were often described as difficult conversations. But why are they so hard to navigate, and how can we approach them effectively?

Understanding Difficult Conversations

Before going into details, it’s crucial to recognize why these conversations are challenging. They typically involve delivering uncomfortable feedback, addressing sensitive issues, or confronting behaviors that may be deeply ingrained. Many managers are afraid of such conversation as they want employee to still like them and generally to keep positive image in the team. It can be still achieved if handled properly. The goal is to have these discussions in a way that is respectful, constructive, and leads to positive change. Remember the worst you can do, is avoiding the conversation.

Here’s a comprehensive guide to help you tackle these situations effectively:

1. Prepare Thoroughly

Gather Facts and Specific Examples: Before the conversation, compile detailed information and concrete examples of the issue at hand. Make sure you are discussing facts not opinions. This will help you stay focused on reason rather than emotions.
Know Your Objective: Define your goal for the conversation. Are you seeking to understand, provide support, or improve performance? What should be the outcome for the employee, you, the team, or the company?

2. Create a Safe Environment

Choose the Right Setting: Select a private, quiet location for the discussion. This minimizes distractions and allows for a candid conversation.
Ensure Confidentiality: Assure the employee that the conversation will remain confidential to encourage openness and then keep the promise of confidentiality.

3. Be Clear and Direct

Use Proper Language: Clearly describe the behavior or performance issue without generalizing. For example, instead of saying, “You’re always late,” say, “You were late three times last week.”
Avoid Jargon: Use simple, straightforward language to ensure the employee understands your points. Use words common at your workplace.

4. Show Empathy and Understanding

Acknowledge Emotions: Recognize that the conversation may be uncomfortable for the employee. Express understanding and concern for their feelings.
Listen Actively: Allow the employee to share their perspective without interruption. Ask follow up question to show your genuine interest. This can help employee to open up.

5. Focus on Solutions

Collaborate on Action Plans: Work together to develop a clear, actionable plan to address the issue. This could involve setting specific goals, providing additional training, or adjusting workload. Be clear on the outcomes,
Reinforce Regularly: Schedule follow-up meetings to review progress and provide ongoing support. Tell employee that these meetings should be a support for making improvements.

6. Maintain Professionalism

Stay Calm and Composed: Keep your emotions in check, even if the employee becomes defensive or upset. Stay calm even if employee is raging, being prepared and focused on planned outcomes is usually helpful.
Avoid Personal Attacks: Focus on the behavior or performance issue, not the person. Personal attacks can damage the relationship and hinder progress.

7. Set Clear Expectations

Define Consequences: Clearly explain the consequences if the behavior or performance does not improve. This could range from additional training to more serious actions like suspension or termination.
Document Everything: Keep detailed records of the conversation and agreed-upon action plans for future reference. If things go south you may need this documentation.

8. Offer Support

Provide Resources: Offer resources such as counseling services, mentoring, or training programs to help the employee improve.
Be Available: Let the employee know they can come to you with questions or concerns outside of scheduled meetings.

After conversation:

9. Evaluate conversation for future improvement

Reflect on the Conversation: What was the employee's reaction? How did you feel? What can you improve in future conversations?
Follow up: Check if there was any change in behavior, and if so, was it positive or negative? If necessary, conduct additional conversations using the rules described above.

10. Celebrate Positive Change

Watch Out For Improved Behavior: You need to reinforce positive actions of employee which shows that discussion was understood and change is happening. “Catch the employee doing something right”*.
Acknowledge Good Behavior: When you notice positive change, tell the employee about it. When the change happens and performance improves, celebrate it.

Conclusion

Handling difficult conversations with employees cannot be avoided they are part of managing and leadership. However, by preparing thoroughly, creating a safe environment, and approaching the conversation with empathy and clarity, you can turn these challenging discussions into opportunities for growth and improvement. Remember, the goal is not only to address the issue at hand but to foster a support for employee and create productive work environment. By following these steps, you’ll be able to handle even the most challenging conversations with confidence and poise. 

* “The One Minute Manager” a short book by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson.